The One Girl Travel Podcast
Welcome to the One Girl Travel podcast. Your passport to the world of solo travel. With certified life and travel coach Alessia Tenebruso. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way.
The One Girl Travel Podcast
Episode 93: The Identity Shift
In Episode 93 of the One Girl Travel Podcast, I’m getting real about something a lot of us go through—an identity shift. After leaving my 14-year corporate career to follow my passion for solo travel coaching and building One Girl Travel full-time, I found myself in unfamiliar territory. I talk about what it really feels like when your identity starts to change, and how confusing it can be, especially when you're multi-passionate like me.
I also share how turning to others for advice sometimes left me doubting my own intuition. In this episode, I’m walking you through how I found my way back to myself by listening inward, not outward.
If you’re going through a season of change, feeling lost in your career or life, or just wondering who you are now... this episode is for you. I give you some of my favorite tools to gain clarity, like journaling prompts, vision boards, and visualization exercises. I talk about reconnecting with your childhood self, letting go of old roles and beliefs, and stepping into the version of you you’re becoming... even if she feels brand new.
This conversation is honest, personal, and here to support you wherever you are on your path.
Listen to Episode 93 now and let’s navigate the shift together.
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Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, episode number 93.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, your passport to the world of solo travel with certified life and travel coach, alessia Tenebruso. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel, while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way. Now here's your host, alessia Tenebruso.
Speaker 1:Hello, my friends, and welcome to episode number 93 of the One Girl Travel Podcast. Today, I want to talk to you about something that I've personally been dealing with. For what seems like months, I have been going through what I like to call an identity crisis. Basically, for me, I knew who I was right. I knew exactly who I was. I did the work to get there to really solidify my identity as a person, as a business owner, in my life. I worked hard to get there to create this life for myself and I got there, and then it was time to evolve even more, because a lot of us think like there's a finish line in life and there is no finish line. We keep evolving, we keep growing, and it is uncomfortable when you get to that point where you think you know who you are, but then there's something else waiting for you, and that's what else waiting for you. And that's what I was dealing with, where I resigned from my 14-year corporate career in January 2024. And for 14 years I did the same thing every day, pretty much. I went to this corporate job. I was building One Girl Travel since really late 2019, 2020. And I left my corporate job because I was going all in on one girl travel and I was very secure with my brand, with what I offered.
Speaker 1:I was a solo travel coach. That was my focus. I wanted to help women solo travel because I know the power that solo travel brings to your life. But I also evolved as a person. I have this knowledge that I've learned over the years by doing the work and that's also really meaningful too, and I want to share that with everybody. So I was struggling like who am I now? Am I a life coach? Am I a solo travel coach, a travel coach, a content creator, like there's all these things. And it prevented me from showing up fully because I was constantly questioning who I was. And when you feel that way, you most likely will reach out to other people to help you get clarity. And when I say that out loud, I realize how silly that kind of sounds, because I'm asking other people about who I am and people will give you their thoughts about who you are. They will tell you what you think you should be doing as a person, as a brand, and I appreciate all the feedback that I received. But the thing is, it's one thing to listen to feedback and it's another thing to also listen to yourself, because you can get so caught up in listening to what other people think you should be doing when, deep down, you know what's right for you and for me.
Speaker 1:I got caught up in trying to emulate what I saw people. I looked up to how they were operating, what they were doing, what I thought was the right way to run a business, and I realized now it took time that I get to make my own rules when it comes to my business. I didn't leave my corporate career to feel stressed and not feel like myself, so the thing that really helped me was just stopping listening to what other people said but then really looking within myself and listening to what my soul is saying, and for me it was. It is okay to be more than one thing. I know you're told often to niche down when it comes to a business, to be very specific with what you do, and me as a person, that's just not who I am. I am so many things. I am a creative, I love learning new skills and I am, thankfully, very good at many skills, and the most important thing is that all of the offerings that I have now put into my service portfolio. I'll have this red line that goes through it, this red string, whatever you want to call it of. I help empower women to show up confidently in their lives, whether it's solo travel, whether it is online running their business, whether it's at events where they need a correspondent to showcase what they are bringing to the table. All those offerings and services. Now, it's still not fully comfortable for me to talk about all of them, because it's new of them, because it's new and if you have this idea for a business, for a service, for your life, it's not going to feel comfortable at first. But the main thing is to listen to yourself and what you want to create and once you have that clarity, then it's time to go all in, because you can have all these great ideas, but if you're not doing anything with them, what's the point? I'll give you an example for myself this podcast.
Speaker 1:I avoided producing podcast episodes because I was unsure of my identity and I know I mentioned this in another podcast episode where I wasn't sure what I even wanted to call the podcast, because I wasn't sure if I was changing the brand name. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with this, but I did change my website over to alessialisacom. You can still type onegirltravelcom into your browser and reach the same website. So what I realized was it's not that big of a deal. The name is not that big of a deal. Your name for your business. It can constantly change, it doesn't matter. It's about you as a business owner and showing up for your community. So this is me showing up for my community as many things as a content creator, as a certified life coach, certified travel coach.
Speaker 1:I am now a certified travel advisor Very exciting. I am a social media event correspondent, where I go to events and I do the social media for the event host or retreat host or trip host, where I share behind the scenes of that event. I am also a branding visibility consultant, where I help my clients show up confidently online. I give them all the tools they need and the support they need to show up for their businesses. I'm a blogger, a podcaster, all the things, and it feels really good to just say it aloud and share it with all of you.
Speaker 1:So if you're dealing with an identity crisis right now, if you thought you knew who you were, but you're feeling this shift inside of you that you're ready to evolve, I want to share some tools with you to help that evolution really happen for you. So let's get started. So the first step is to reconnect with who you were before the world told you who to be. And if you are somebody on social media, or maybe you're in a lot of networking communities or you have mentors and you're constantly comparing yourself to other people and how they're showing up for their lives, what they're doing, we get so caught up about the right way or who we should be, because it's working for them and all this noise. So your action step for this would be to set aside 20 to 30 minutes for quiet journaling sessions, reflect on the version of yourself before, the responsibilities, the expectations and the relationships that reshaped you. And while you're journaling, ask yourself what did I love doing as a child or a teen before anybody told me who I should be? And this is something that I covered in the Make the World your Playground workshop. There is a replay. I will put it in the show notes for you so you can go watch that, and I have a ton of prompts for you there. But the next question to ask yourself is when did I feel the most like me, and then, what parts of myself have I put aside that I want to reclaim? And asking yourself these questions is going to help you rediscover your passions, personality, traits and dreams that still live inside of you.
Speaker 1:For me, I have been proactively doing this for myself, because I was working from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep and I'm like, why am I doing this to myself? I'm the owner of my own business. Why am I torturing myself? And I took a deep look at what I used to enjoy when I was younger, and art was that thing. I always was an art kid. I was always sculpting and painting and drawing, and I also have my associate's degree in fine art. Fun fact, I also have a certification in baking and pastry arts. Like I said, I'm really into all the things, but for me it was bringing art back into my life, and so I've been sculpting, I have been doing adult coloring books. I also bought paint by numbers, which are so cool I'll post a link If I can find that for you they're so fun to do. But just having that outlet, that creative outlet for myself, that outlet that makes me feel just like grounded with who I am and who I've always been. I find that to be so powerful. So definitely take some time to reflect on those three prompts and let me know what you discover about yourself and how you can start incorporating that into your life again.
Speaker 1:The next tool is to clarify what no longer fits for you. So what you're going to do is create a release and realign list. You're going to divide the page into two columns and on the left, write down what feels heavy, misaligned or no longer true for you, and on the right, write what you desire instead. So ask yourself questions like what roles, labels or beliefs am I holding onto out of habit or fear? What am I done? The second prompt is what am I done pretending to enjoy or be okay with? I know we can all relate to this. We force ourselves to do things that we think we should, but we don't really enjoy it. So get clear on what those things are.
Speaker 1:The next prompt is deep this get clear on what those things are. The next prompt is deep. This one is what would I choose if I wasn't afraid of disappointing anyone? As a fellow people pleaser, I know what it's like to always want everyone to be satisfied, everyone to be happy, and sometimes that comes at a cost of my own happiness, and it's really important to think about what would I choose if I didn't have to worry about upsetting somebody else or disappointing them. So, again, take time to do these prompts, because they are valuable and they are truly going to help you navigate who you truly are deep inside. And the main thing here is you cannot create a new identity without letting go of the one that's just expired for you, that no longer serves you.
Speaker 1:The third prompt is one of my favorites. It is visualize your future self. I find visualizing my future self to be the thing that just always drives me forward. I hosted a workshop in the beginning of 2025, manifest your Magic where we did a vision board together, and I can put that replay in the show notes for you as well. But I have that vision board up on my wall and I look at it all day, every day, and it's a reminder of my future self and my goals and what I want from life, because we can get very lost in the distractions, can get very lost in the distractions, and sometimes we can forget what it is we truly desire because we're so worried about everyone else and everything else that we just lose sight of what we want out of life. So visualizing your future self is so important, and what I want you to do is take 10 minutes just to close your eyes and visualize your most confident, fulfilled eyes. And visualize your most confident, fulfilled and aligned version of yourself. Where is she? What does her day look like? How does she dress? How does she speak? How does she show up for her life? And then, in your journal, ask yourself what choices does she make that I'm not making yet? How does she carry herself? What is she no longer tolerating? Let this vision guide your next steps. Even if it feels aspirational right now, if you can see her, she already exists within you.
Speaker 1:Tool number four is create an identity vision board. Like I said, I hosted Manifest your Magic in January of 2025. I will put the link to the replay for you so you can follow along if you have not made your vision board yet, but what you can do is use Pinterest or you can use a physical board to create a visual representation of your next evolution, and I don't want you to focus on stuff. Don't focus on specific clothes or cars, but focus on feelings that those things will bring to you Choose images that reflect the energy, lifestyle and the values of who you're becoming. And, when you're creating your board, use words, textures and symbols that resonate with you, and don't limit what you choose to what actually feels realistic for you. Go with what lights you up. Let the sky be the limit when you're making your choices for your boards. And then, most importantly, keep your board visible. Let it become your energetic compass when you feel stuck. And, like I said, mine is right on my wall over here. I glance at it when I'm working. I always have it visible and it is just such a great reminder of the direction I want to go. And finally, the last tool is act as if.
Speaker 1:So, what you're going to do is you're going to choose one small habit, decision or action that you can take this week that aligns with your next level, identity, and it can be as simple as changing how you introduce yourself to other people, or what you're wearing, or how you sign, or how you show up on social media and throughout your day. I want you to reflect on these two questions, to ask yourself what would the version of me I'm becoming do in this exact moment? And then how would she lead, speak or move through the world. Once you have that clarity, it helps you to become her. Now it's sort of like a fake it until you make it sort of thing Like you are being her, even if it doesn't feel comfortable for you right now. Your future self shows up in this way and that's really what got me through the beginning of my solo travel journey.
Speaker 1:Dining by myself scared me to death. I was so uncomfortable, but I thought about how would my future self show up? How would she talk? How would she dress? What was her energy like? And I emulated that I would dress up in these gowns and it was just like a suit of armor for me.
Speaker 1:I wasn't being Alessia of that time. I was being Alessia, my future self, and she had confidence and she smiled at people and she engaged in conversations with strangers. And she had confidence and she smiled at people and she engaged in conversations with strangers and she enjoyed eating meals by herself. And even though I wasn't comfortable doing all that stuff at the time, I did it anyway and I quickly realized that I was becoming my future self, and now I am that version of my future self that Alessia of 2012, when she first began her solo travel journey wished for. I am everything that I once hoped I would be, but now I have evolved and now there are bigger goals and there is more that I want to do and there are changes I want to make, and so now I'm starting over again, and that's life.
Speaker 1:We are always evolving, we are always growing, we're always learning, and it doesn't happen overnight. It happens by taking small steps and really being intentional about what you want. So if you're feeling like you are currently in that identity crisis right now, I feel you, I see you're feeling like you are currently in that identity crisis right now, I feel you, I see you, I hear you. We've all been there.
Speaker 1:But truly take time for yourself to do these prompts and to be intentional about where you want to be and, most importantly, listen to yourself. Stay true to who you are, because that is going to really be the thing that pushes you forward and also keeps you going. You have to enjoy who you are and your life and what you're creating, because if you're not enjoying it, what's the point of doing it? And if you need support in getting started with having confidence to show up for yourself or your business, reach out to me at contact at onegirltravelcom, or go to alessialisacom. I have a ton of resources there and let's work together. I would love to support you on your journey. So until next time, my friends. Thank you for joining me and I will see you next week. Bye.
Speaker 2:Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast. If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. You can find out more about your host on our website, onegirltravelcom, or follow her on Instagram, facebook, pinterest and TikTok. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.
