Episode 75: The Importance of Showing Up

In episode 75 of the One Girl Travel podcast, host Alessia dives into the theme of new beginnings and the common barriers that hold us back from pursuing things we truly want to do. Alessia shares a personal anecdote about her own struggles with consistently going to the gym despite having a membership for months. She discusses the moment of realization that perfection isn't necessary; simply showing up is a victory on its own.

Alessia highlights the significance of not comparing ourselves to others and the importance of self-compassion and bravery. She encourages listeners to identify which goals or activities they have been postponing due to fear of judgment or self-doubt. Throughout the episode, she emphasizes that starting, regardless of the level of initial discomfort or imperfection, is crucial to personal growth and fulfillment.

Transitioning to the topic of solo travel, Alessia advises on how to gradually build confidence by starting with small outings, such as dining alone or local excursions, before tackling more ambitious solo adventures. She shares her philosophy that solo travel is more than an opportunity to explore new places; it’s about fostering a deeper relationship with oneself, learning personal preferences, and embracing independence.
Alessia concludes by inviting listeners to take bold steps towards their personal goals, be it solo travel or any other aspiration, and offers her support through one-on-one coaching, the One Girl Travel Club, or upcoming group trips, including a special Christmas market tour in Germany.

Tune in to get inspired to start your journey towards breaking barriers and living life on your own terms.
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Feel free to join Alessia on her transformative adventures and get one step closer to achieving your dreams!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Overcoming Fear and Starting Fresh
• 9:43 Embracing Solo Travel for Self-Discovery
• 19:49 Travel Inspiration and Support Offered

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, episode number 75.

Speaker 2: 0:05

Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, your passport to the world of solo travel with certified life and travel coach, alessia Tenebruso. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel, while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way. Now here's your host, alessia Tenebruso.

Speaker 1: 0:30

Hello, my friends, and welcome to episode number 75 of the One Girl Travel Podcast. Today, I want to talk to you about new beginnings, about starting something fresh, maybe for the first time, or maybe for the first time in a while so this doesn't mean that you've never done it before, but maybe you haven't done it in quite some time and it's something that you've been resisting for whatever reason. And I'm going to share a personal antidote with you, because this just happened to me the other day and I realized I need to make a podcast episode on this subject, because I'm sure you can all relate to it and I know I have dealt with this many, many times in my lifetime. But to give you an example of what I'm talking about, I have been wanting to go to the gym. Talking about, I have been wanting to go to the gym and, mind you, I've been paying for a membership for months and I go to a very nice gym. It's expensive and I'm paying all this money and I'm not going. And the thing is I want to go. So finally, the other day, I decided I'm going to the gym.

Speaker 1: 1:45

I'm going to the gym today and I don't give myself any time to think about it or talk myself out of it, because usually what tends to happen is I want to go to the gym but then I get on my computer and I start working and then I just don't stop and then I never leave to go anywhere. So I'm not giving myself option not going on the computer, I'm just going. So I get dressed, I get my stuff, get to the gym and I get onto one of the machines and I'm exercising and I look around me and I have this realization I don't need to show up and be perfect, I just need to show up. I don't need to compare myself to the people around me. I don't need to compare my body to the people at this gym. I don't need to compare my level of income to the other people at this gym. I looked around me and I realized all these people are just doing their own thing. Some are doing things I've never seen before at a gym. They're doing their own unique workouts and that's amazing. Everyone has a different body type and everyone's a different age and everyone's just there for themselves, to get healthy.

Speaker 1: 3:07

It's not about ego. It's not about, oh, I don't have the right gym outfit or oh, I feel bloated today I don't want to show up, or whatever. Our mind can make up so many excuses and reasons not to do something, and most of the time it's because of our own ego. It's because that we are comparing ourselves to other people, and when you do that, you're preventing yourself from doing the things that are important to you, to your life, to your health, to your happiness. So I want you to think about what's something that you've been wanting to do but you keep putting off. You keep putting it off because you're worried about judgment from other people, you're worried about comparing yourself to other people, you're worried about your own physical limitations or look, or whatever you feel like isn't good enough about yourself for you to actually show up. When you think about that, it's most likely either irrelevant or it's just not true.

Speaker 1: 4:22

You don't have to be a certain level of anything to start something. You don't have to be an athlete in order to go to a gym. You do not need to be a world traveler to begin solo traveling. You can start at the very basics and as long as you start and as long as you begin that journey, you're already ahead. You're already on track. You're already one step closer to your goal.

Speaker 1: 4:55

And this was so enlightening for me because, again, I've been putting it off for so long. And then, once I was there, I'm like why? Why was I preventing myself from going? Why was I making up these excuses to stop me from doing something that I wanted to do, that I knew was good for me, but yet I was holding myself back. Nobody else, nobody else was doing this to me. Nobody else told me oh no, you're not good enough to go to this gym. I was telling myself that and it doesn't make sense. But yet we do it. We do it in all aspects of our life.

Speaker 1: 5:38

You want to go for a new job. Maybe you're telling yourself you're not qualified, and it's bullshit, because you can learn. You can learn anything. Maybe you don't have all the qualifications that they're asking for, but it's very unlikely that anybody applying for a job is going to have all those qualifications. Why not you? Why not allow yourself to just try and to go after what you want, instead of holding yourself back, waiting until you're this perfect version of yourself that's going to check all these boxes, why not just put yourself out there, see what happens, see if it feels good to you? You get to be picky.

Speaker 1: 6:23

Also, I learned this when I started dating. I would always worry about oh, what if he doesn't like me? And for a long time that was the way I thought and I would try to people-please my way into relationships and I was never happy. And finally I realized, oh no, I get to choose. I get to choose if somebody's right for me. I get to choose if I'm happy. And it changed everything. This is applicable to everything in your life, is applicable to everything in your life.

Speaker 1: 6:58

So again, take note of where you're holding back. What is it that you want to do and why are you not doing it? Write it down, get it out of your head and write it down. So when you write it down, something happens like clarity. You write it down. Something happens like clarity. You write it down. You realize what am I talking about. Even saying it out loud is awful, is also super helpful.

Speaker 1: 7:25

I find that when I discuss these things with my therapist or my coaches, like oh wait, I see what I'm doing here. I see what the problem is. It's not them, it's not the situation, it's my thoughts about the situation and it's fear. It's also fear you might be scared of putting yourself out there and doing something that doesn't feel comfortable to you or it doesn't feel safe, or it doesn't feel like you're qualified to do it. But how are you going to know if you're capable of doing something? You have to try, you have to practice. You have to do it over and over again. Mistakes are just part of life. Not doing things perfectly are a part of life.

Speaker 1: 8:18

So now let's focus on solo travel with this topic. If you want to begin solo traveling or doing things by yourself and I mean go to a concert, go to a festival, go on a weekend getaway, go out to dinner by yourself If those are something that you actually want to do, you desire to do this, but you haven't allowed yourself to actually experience it because you tell yourself things like I'm not brave enough, I'm not brave enough, I don't know how People are going to judge me. Those are just excuses. It's not reality. First of all, the judgment thing. If it's something that you want to do, you have to be prepared to just not give a shit about anybody's judgment If it's important to you. Shit about anybody's judgment If it's important to you, that's all that matters. You do not have to explain yourself to anybody, you get to live life on your terms. So that's the first part of it. Second, okay, you're telling yourself you're not brave. And again, that's bullshit too, because I'm sure if you think back in your life about things that you've overcome, it shows bravery.

Speaker 1: 9:43

Don't talk down to yourself, especially when it comes to solo traveling. You need to learn to be your own best friend and advocate for yourself and talk yourself up, because that plays a big part in this process. Because you are by yourself, you are alone in a foreign country, you have no other friend except for yourself. You need to be the very best friend to yourself and that means speaking kindly, hyping yourself up, telling yourself how great you are, how proud of yourself you are. It makes such a difference and it takes practice. So why not start now? Why not start telling yourself how brave you are, how capable you are? Do little things to make you feel good about you, stepping outside your comfort zone, because those little things add up to big things.

Speaker 1: 10:40

Start locally. You do not need to book a 10-day European tour as your first solo trip. You do not need to spend tens of thousands of dollars on your first solo trip. You do not need to book some elaborate dinner or something for your first time dining by yourself. Just start with basics. Start with just the most simplest of acts that feel like a little bit of a stretch to you. You start small. You take yourself out for breakfast, take yourself out to lunch, take yourself out for a casual dinner sitting at the bar. Then maybe you want to book a Michelin star restaurant for yourself where you're wearing a bowl gown I don't know. Whatever your thing is, do it, but you work your way up to it, because then, once you're able to do those things, you can go into any restaurant in the world and feel comfortable sitting down by yourself. And that's the goal here. The goal here is that freedom to do anything that you desire by yourself, feel good about it, to feel confident. That's what this is about.

Speaker 1: 12:10

Solo travel is great. Solo travel is amazing. You get a vacation, you get just that, just. You meet new people, you have new experiences. You do all the things right.

Speaker 1: 12:15

But it's not just about the trip. Solo travel is a physical exercise to get to know yourself, to develop a relationship with yourself, to know your likes, your dislikes, when you want to eat, what you want to eat, what you want to do, what activities you enjoy, what kind of people are you wanting to have conversations with? What do you like to wear? What time do you like to wake up, wanting to have conversations with? What do you like to wear? What time do you like to wake up? You get to learn all those things about yourself because you're giving yourself the time to just learn about who you are and not worry about anybody else. It's your time and that's why I'm so adamant about working your way up and just starting from the beginning.

Speaker 1: 13:00

Way up and just starting from the beginning, starting scared, starting with discomfort, just starting. Just start and just practice and keep going, just like me at the gym. I started right I haven't done in a while. Got back there, I realized it wasn't so scary. You know what? I actually enjoyed it. I realized I had a massage chair that I don't know. Whatever I'm like, this place is great. Why am I not spending more time here? And the same goes for solo travel and the same goes for doing things by yourself. You're going to realize this was not so scary, that wasn't so bad. I can do this. What else can I do? And that's when you expand, and that's when you really start exploring and getting to know who you are, because you're learning what you're capable of and you're learning also what you enjoy, and that's going to lead you to booking incredible trips and exploring the world, doing all these things by yourself and actually enjoying yourself.

Speaker 1: 14:12

I never want to hear anybody say I wish I did this, I wish I did this, and now it's too late, because that's regret. Who wants to have regret in their life, especially when it comes to things that are fun? Don't regret missing out on opportunities that will bring you joy and expand your world and expand your social circle and expand you. There's so much out there. There are so many things that you can be doing now to just embrace the solo travel lifestyle, which I like to call it the solo travel lifestyle because it is a lifestyle I personally can go and do anything by myself and I know I'll have a great time because I became my own best friend, I learned to enjoy my own company and I also learned to not care about what other people think. So that's really like the key to the universe, I feel like, is just not caring what other people think, showing up as who you are now, and that also reminds me of something that recently happened, as I mentioned on the podcast.

Speaker 1: 15:37

I was helping out my mentor at an event and she invited me to introduce her on her workshop with like 350 plus people on Zoom, and I, you know, I was nervous, never did this before. I also wasn't really prepared until you know, days before, because it happened so fast. And I showed up even though I was scared, even like, even though I wasn't sure what I was going to even say, until that morning. I showed up in a hot pink form, fitting dress, and I mean there's no way that I was able to hide right Like, knew it wasn't something, I wasn't going to be behind the scenes, I was going to be in the spotlight for a minute and all these people are going to see me, so why not allow them to see me as who I truly am and that's vibrant and fun and colorful and colorful. And I did, and even though, to be honest, I might not feel so comfortable in my body right now because my weight's fluctuating and whatever. So, even though I had that all going on inside my head, like now, I'm going to show up as myself and I feel most comfortable as myself, rather than hiding my body underneath clothes I don't enjoy. And I went up and I did my intro and all that.

Speaker 1: 17:23

And then recently, a woman that I'm a part of a group she didn't realize I was a part of it and she took a screenshot of me at the webinar and she made a post saying that this woman, meaning me, inspired her to show up as who she is right now, because she's been hiding herself and she hasn't felt comfortable with herself. So that's why she's hiding. But because I showed up as myself, unapologetically, it inspired her to want to show up more in her life. And that means so much to me because that's why I do all of this. I want to be an example of just putting yourself out there and trying new things and if I can do it, you can do it. So I want to be that example for all of you, to just show you it's not so scary that you can do it, and it could also inspire other people. So if there is something that you've been wanting to do, I implore you, please go do it. Go do it and let me know how it feels. Go do it. Go do it and let me know how it feels, even if you feel like you're not doing it perfectly. You don't have to do it perfectly. You just need to do it, and I am here for you. If you need that handholding, if you need that support, I offer one-on-one coaching.

Speaker 1: 19:08

I also have the One Girl Travel Club. I also have a group trip to Germany for Christmas time. We're going to Christmas markets. It's going to be so good. I can't wait for this trip. It's early December for this trip. It's early December. It's going to be magic.

Speaker 1: 19:33

You have not experienced Christmas markets in Europe. You do not want to miss this. Plus, I have four more spots where you get $100 off the price. So act now. I would love for you to join me.

Speaker 1: 19:45

I have been reading the most incredible reviews from my Italy travelers and it just makes me so excited for more to join me. I have been reading the most incredible reviews from my Italy travelers and it just makes me so excited for more and more trips, and I can't wait for you to join me. So I invite you join me in Germany, join me in one-on-one coaching or the One Girl Travel Club, and I'd be happy to support you any way I can. And this goes for solo travel. This goes for anything that you desire in your life, that you want to do, without waiting on anybody else to join you. It's about taking that bold step and just embracing life and having fun and making the world your playground, and I am here for you and I appreciate you listening or tuning in on YouTube and I will talk to you soon. My friends, have a great day.

Speaker 2: 20:29

Bye. Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the one girl travel podcast. If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, you can find out more about your host on our website, one girl travelcom, or follow her on Instagram, facebook, pinterest and TikTok. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.