The One Girl Travel Podcast
Welcome to the One Girl Travel podcast. Your passport to the world of solo travel. With certified life and travel coach Alessia Tenebruso. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way.
The One Girl Travel Podcast
Episode 73: Building Confidence Through New Experiences
Venturing further into the heart of authenticity and self-realization, join me as I delve into the essence of tapping into our inherent capabilities, those skills honed through all of life's meanderings. Whether it's solo travel or making new connections, I reflect on how these adventures shape our entrepreneurial spirit and personal growth. I share candid insights on the pitfalls of conforming, the sweet liberation of aligning with our true values, and exciting evolutions on the horizon for our One Girl Travel community. This episode is an invitation to live authentically and a testament to the transformative power of staying true to oneself in both life's quietest moments and its grandest adventures.
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Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, episode number 73.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, your passport to the world of solo travel with certified life and travel coach, alessia Tenebruso. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel, while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way. Now here's your host, alessia Tenebruso.
Speaker 1:Hello, my friends, welcome to episode number 73 of the One Girl Travel Podcast. Have you ever felt like you failed? I feel like that's a very like you failed. I feel like that's a very vague question, because we probably all felt like that from time to time. But have you ever felt that feeling where you tried something and it didn't work out the way you wanted it to and you just thought to yourself why did I do that so embarrassed, why I should never do that, why, what am I doing? That is something that I have experienced many times in my life, even now, after all the work that I've done over the past. Jeez, like 12 years, it still comes up. It's still real. Like 12 years, it still comes up. It's still real. And, honestly, it happened recently to me.
Speaker 1:Last week I was invited to come and do the social media and behind the scenes of my mentor's event in North Carolina and I got to do it and I was so excited and I got to do it and I was so excited and she also gave me the privilege of introducing her to over 350 people on the virtual conference. And I'm you know I wasn't really prepared in advance, but I did write down what I wanted to say I had it in my phone, went over it a few times. What I wanted to say, I had it in my phone, went over it a few times and I saw the faces on Zoom looking at me and I hit my mark and the countdown went on. I started in my introduction and I start talking really fast when I get nervous. I talk really, really fast and I started losing my place in what I wanted to say because I wanted to make sure I hit everything that I had written down, because I didn't want to miss anything. I wanted to do a good job. This was my first time doing it and I was going so fast. And then I was like, as I'm saying what I want to say in my head, I'm like what are you doing? You're messing up. Why? Like what's going on? And then it was over. You know, in a matter of a minute it was over.
Speaker 1:I walked off stage, I took a breath and like I mean I was trembling while I was doing it. Like I mean I was trembling while I was doing it and I went in the back and I took a breath and I was like, okay, I did it and I caught myself. I caught myself before I can get too many negative thoughts into my brain Because at first I wanted to tell myself, wow, you failed, that sucked, you did a terrible job. You're never going to be good at this. And I stopped all of those. I stopped them all and I told myself, hey, this was your first time doing this, this was your first time ever doing something like this. And you did it. You just did it a little fast, that's okay. It's okay just to go a little fast because you're nervous. It's okay. The more you do it, the better you're going to get.
Speaker 1:And I had to turn around my thoughts because if I allowed myself to go down the original route, which was you're a failure, you suck, you should never do this what's going to happen? I'm probably going to avoid public speaking for the rest of my life, but I want to public speak. That is something that's high on my list of things to do in my career. I want to talk on stages. I want to hold my own conferences. Of course, I want my own group trips where I am addressing many people at once.
Speaker 1:So I had to get over this and I had to get over the thought of failure because I was scared. Now I also want you to think about if you're scared of doing something and the opportunity comes to you, what are you going to say? How are you going to respond to the invitation to do something that is really, really scary? You've never done it before? Are you going to embrace it and try it, even though you're scared, or are you going to be like, nah, I'm not going to do it, I'm going to pass, because if that's something, it's something that your soul wants to do, if it lights you up, even though it terrifies you, I want you to do it anyway. And I've talked about this many times, about doing it scared.
Speaker 1:This was something I had to do, scared because I need to learn. I need to get my hours in practicing talking in front of people. It's not like the podcast where I can, you know, stop the record button, edit out my mistakes. No, it's real life. You have to learn how to relay your message to many people and be okay with it. And if you screw up, that's life. You're only human. You keep going. You don't stop just because you mess up something.
Speaker 1:And that's something that I really was reflecting on after my introduction, because I was like, wow, okay, I did it and didn't go exactly how I wanted it to, but I did it. I said everything I needed to say. I just was a little anxious while doing it and actually, after that, I, after we were done with the event, I decided to go live on Instagram, which is also something that really doesn't feel comfortable to me. Honestly, I don't know what exactly it is about going live on social media. In general, I worry about not having the right things to say or something not interesting enough, or getting sidetracked with my thoughts, or not having anybody to talk to, and I'm just talking to myself, which I'm doing right now. So I guess it really wouldn't matter. And as I was thinking about all of those reasons why I don't do it, I'm like, okay, I need to force myself to do it. So I went live and I did it for a few minutes and it was fine. I survived, I lived right, and now I have practice under my belt and I'm going to keep going.
Speaker 1:I'm going to keep doing the things that feel uncomfortable, because I want those things in my life. Let's say, you want to start working out and you go and you try to. You know, go and do a bench press and the weight feels really heavy and you feel really uncomfortable. Maybe you're not sure of the form, maybe you're just paranoid that people are looking at you, whatever, and you do it, and it might not look the way you wanted it to look, or you might not have as many reps as you wanted to do, but you still did it and the next time you do it it's going to be a little bit easier. So I just want to remind you that you should just embrace those things you want to do and do them anyway. Even if it's not perfect, even if you're scared or embarrassed, nervous, whatever it is, just keep going and do it, because it ultimately can get you closer to your goals.
Speaker 1:And often I have these conversations with people in my life where they tell me I can't do that, I've never done it before, I don't know how, I don't know how to do it. And I tell them like I'm sorry, that's bullshit, I don't care if you don't know how to do it, you figure it out. If it's something that you want, bad enough, you need to figure it out, and you're going to mess it up. It's not going to be perfect, but you keep trying, you keep learning, you keep expanding your knowledge each time you make a mistake, because then you learn how to pivot and do it better the next time. I never want to hear anyone say that you're not capable of doing something. There is the internet out there that literally teaches you anything you need to know. There's no excuse. If there's something you want to do, do the research and figure it out, practice, put it out there for the world to see and then do it better the next time. It's most likely not going to be perfect the first time you do it, and that's okay, because you need to keep going and you need to keep practicing and you'll get better and better as you go.
Speaker 1:Now the same goes for solo travel. The first time I solo traveled, I was scared to death. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. There wasn't many resources for me when I began that process of solo travel and I just showed up and I figured it out and the thing that really guides me on everything was just what feels good. What do I want to do? Let that be your guide to the next actions you take, because most likely your body is going to give you the correct information for what you need Now. Don't let feeling nervous or scared prevent you from doing those things. But be aware, when something feels really just not good Like there's a difference between uneasy and like that pit in your stomach that is telling you this is not good for you Versus like just that bit of nervousness or anxiousness when you're doing something new and it's exciting, but you want to throw up at the same time, just that feeling I want you to embrace, like because that's how you're going to know, like, okay, this is big, this is a big deal. I'm doing something that I've never done before, so I'm going to have all the feels when I'm doing it and that's okay. But, yeah, definitely, let your gut help you make your decisions, because you don't want to do things that really feel terrible, because then you're just forcing yourself to do things that you don't want to do, and that goes into, you know, tolerating things that don't serve you, and we never want to do that for ourselves.
Speaker 1:The main purpose of today's podcast episode is really just to remind you that you are capable, is really just to remind you that you are capable. You are smart enough, creative enough. Whatever it is you need to do, you can do it. Do not let the things you haven't done limit what you want to do. Don't let them hold you back just because you haven't done it, just because you haven't had the evidence to prove that you're able to do something, because there's evidence all around you that you can pull from. It might not be the same scenario, but there's other examples out there that show that you are capable, and I've mentioned this in other podcasts.
Speaker 1:When it goes for solo traveling, maybe you haven't solo traveled before, but maybe you navigated a new city before. Maybe you haven't met, you know, made new friends as an adult, but maybe you went to a work event and you were able to network. It's all related, it's all experience, it's all practice. It's all going to get you closer to where you want to go. And I just want to be transparent, because even somebody like me, who is a coach and has done this work for a long time, it's you know, sometimes those thoughts creep in where you don't feel good enough. Or maybe the result you got was not the result you wanted, and that doesn't mean you stop. You didn't fail because the result wasn't what you wanted. You only fail if you don't do it or you give up.
Speaker 1:And again this goes to why are you doing something? Why do you want to do it? Why do you want to host the event? Why do you want to start the podcast? Why do you want to solo travel? Why do you want to start a relationship? Whatever it is? What is your reason for doing it, and is that reason powerful enough to allow you to embrace discomfort? Do not give up on yourself because you're scared or you didn't do it the right way. Do it the way that you want to do it. You do not have to follow what everybody else is doing, and that's something that I also really focused on this past weekend, after talking to a few people in my life that I have been doing certain things because I thought I should be doing them that way.
Speaker 1:I've never been an entrepreneur before. It's never been my full-time job to be an entrepreneur, and I based a lot of my actions in my business on what I've seen work for other people, other people that I admire and I love what they do. So I'm like, okay, I should follow that because it works for them and I love it. But then I do it and I implement it into my business and I don't always love it. I'll invest money in programs or software whatever and I'll hate it. And let's be super transparent Remember how I had my monthly newsletter that I absolutely loved putting out to all of you.
Speaker 1:I loved that newsletter, loved it. It was my pride and joy. I don't know why I'm getting emotional talking about this newsletter, but I was advised not to do it, that I shouldn't put out a monthly newsletter, that I should do a weekly newsletter and I shouldn't put so much effort into my monthly newsletter. And I resisted for a while and then a lot was going on. So I'm like all right, let me. Let me stop with the monthly newsletter and I. It never felt right to me. It never felt right and even though it works for other people with their companies, for me that newsletter was something really special and I'm bringing it back was something really special and I'm bringing it back Like I, that was just my like. It felt like a gift that I shared with the community and I felt like I lost that when I stopped doing it. And there's a lot more to it, but it's just.
Speaker 1:I realized that I was forcing myself to do things that I thought I should be doing rather, and like hoping it would feel better eventually. So like forcing myself to do things that didn't feel good, but I thought I should be doing it. I was shitting myself like, stop doing that. So, yeah, I thought it was the right thing to do and then I realized that I hated this new route that I took. This does not feel good, it does not feel in alignment, it feels very off and it shifted how I felt about doing some of the things and then it was almost like I needed permission to shift to what I actually wanted to do, and I know that sounds crazy. You do not need permission. You don't need permission from anybody. Give yourself the permission to do whatever feels good to you, and I mean, I'm living proof of that, guys. So I'm giving myself the permission to do whatever the hell I want to do with my business, whatever feels in alignment with me, because I want to be authentic, I want to attract the people that are the right fit for my community and for my trips and all that. And I can't do that unless I am showing up as my most authentic self and putting out the most authentic content. That just is in alignment with one girl, travel and myself.
Speaker 1:So, okay, got off on a little tangent there, but even like these podcasts, honestly I never write out scripts for the podcast. I go for what's going on currently, what's top of mind, and this was truly top of mind. This was a powerful weekend, actually, last week and this weekend. There's just a lot going on at once and a lot of shifts are being made and I'm excited for those shifts because they're all focused on what I want and what feels good and what I want to provide to the One Girl Travel community, to all of you. So there's going to be changes.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you being here and following along and dealing with me, if I you know, stop something, start something, because it's all a learning progress. Like, it's just you learn as you go and you figure it out, you make pivots and you stop or you start whatever it is. But I'm just going to keep going and figure out what the right recipe is for this and I want you to do the same Figure out what feels good. Don't worry about how you should be doing anything. What's your version of your own recipe? Like, what do you want to do? How can you make this process? Whatever it is you want to do do most alignment with who you are as a person and, if you have a business, also in alignment with your business, with your morals, your values. That all needs to come in together to create the outcome. And it might feel scary going rogue and doing things in unconventional ways because you don't have the evidence that it'll work. But the only way you'll get that evidence is if you try and even if you don't get the results you hope for, if it feels good to you. You know you changes along the way and yeah, it's a lot, but it's okay. It's okay. You just keep on going.
Speaker 1:And I encourage all of you to not give up on your goals because you're scared or because it's not going the way you want. To Just learn how to make those tweaks. Keep going after it. Just don't give up. Don't give up. It's worth it. Your dreams are worth the effort. You are worth the effort. This is your time. It's so crazy how fast time goes by. It's already mid-May, the time is flying by and tomorrow is not guaranteed. We have to make the most of our lives if that's what you desire. If you want a life well lived, you have to figure out what's important to you, what do you want to do in this lifetime? Stop waiting. Just start taking action on your life. Even if you on your life, even if you're scared, even if you're uncomfortable, even if you don't do it the right way, just do it, and I'm gonna leave you with that, because that was that was a lot to take in, I sure.
Speaker 1:So let me know what topics you want to hear on the One Girl Travel podcast. I am open to all ideas and recommendations. I want to give you what you need, and I'm also going to share what's on my heart as well, because that's what we're talking about, and I'm excited to share more with all of you. And be sure to subscribe to the One Girl Travel YouTube channel, because I'm once I get some time, I will be uploading some travel vlogs. I have some videos from when I went on the Norwegian Prima, the cruise to Bermuda, that I definitely want to upload. I have some other things that I want to share on YouTube. I want to have more fun with YouTube because why not? Like I said, it's my life, it's my business. I get to share it. However, I want to, and I would love for you to join me over there.
Speaker 1:Also, a reminder Germany we're going to Germany this year this December and it's early enough in December that you can go to Germany, buy some amazing souvenirs. Come home. You'll still be at home for Christmas. This trip has been a bucket list item for me. Germany Christmas markets If you have not experienced it, I mean I have not experienced German Christmas markets. I've experienced German Christmas markets. I've experienced Scotland Christmas markets. European Christmas markets are pure magic. They are just full of everything you can imagine a Christmas market to be. It has handmade crafts, gifts, food, crafts gifts, food, the smells, the drinks, everything, the music, just the festivity. It's all there and I'm so excited to share it with all of you.
Speaker 1:There will be more group trips coming up in 2025. I still have to figure those out, but if you want to experience solo travel and you do not want to do it completely on your own, this is a perfect opportunity to experience new countries, new experiences, solo travel and traveling with me. You have access to me. We have a private Facebook group. We have monthly calls leading up to the trips. I'm going to provide you with all the information you need to comfortably solo travel and I would love to have you join me. So go check it out.
Speaker 1:Go on onegirltravelcom and at the top in the menu bar you'll see travel with me. Click that, it'll take you to the page. If you have any questions about the trip, feel free to reach out to me. I would love to travel with you. Our Italy trip was the most incredible experience of my life and I just can't wait to go on more trips with all of you and experience the world and just share so much laughter and fun. And yeah, I can't wait. So that's there for you and until next time, my friends, I hope you have a great day. I hope you go out and you start doing whatever it is that you desire to do, and do not allow any slip ups. Make you stop what you're doing and just go out, live your best life, enjoy it and I'll talk to you next week. Bye.
Speaker 2:Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the one girl travel podcast. If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. You can find out more about your host on our website, one girl travelcom, or follow her on Instagram, facebook, pinterest and Tik TOK. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.
