Episode 69: Believe in Yourself

Picture this: 25 vibrant women, one unforgettable journey through Italy's captivating landscapes, all led by yours truly, Alessia Tenebruso. My heart is practically bursting as I invite you to hitch a ride on my latest adventure, where self-belief meets the soul-stirring independence of solo travel. From the rich aroma of Italian espresso to the twinkling lights of German Christmas markets, I'm taking you into a world where every woman is the heroine of her own story. If you've ever felt the tug of self-doubt or battled the shadows of guilt, this episode is your guiding star, offering proof that past challenges are the very evidence of your unshakable strength.

As we journey together, I'll share how I conquered my own body image battles, transforming insecurities into stepping stones for growth. Solo travel didn't just introduce me to new places; it was a mirror reflecting my potential, teaching me to drown out the negative self-talk with chants of affirmation. I'm beyond excited to present the One Girl Travel Club, a haven I designed for women to embrace the transformative nature of traveling alone, complete with lessons, coaching, and an empowering community. By tuning in, you're not just a listener; you're stepping into a circle of women who are ready to pen their own daring narratives, celebrating each victory with a resounding "Yes, I can!

If you enjoyed this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, then I invite you to follow me on Instagram. That's where all the fun is happening! @ONE_GIRL_TRAVEL

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/one_girl_travel/

Chapters

• 0:00 Believing in Yourself and Solo Travel
• 8:28 Believe in Yourself and Solo Travel

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, episode number 69.

Speaker 2: 0:04

Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, your passport to the world of solo travel with certified life and travel coach, alessia Tenebruso. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel, while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way. Now here's your host, alessia Tenebruso.

Speaker 1: 0:32

Welcome, my friends, to episode number 69 of the One Girl Travel Podcast. I'm here today and I am getting ready for my first ever group trip and we're going to Italy. If you didn't know, I am hosting my first group trip and I am taking 25 women with me to Italy and we are going to have the time of our lives. I'm so excited. This is something I dreamed of back when I first thought of the idea for one girl travel. I knew I wanted to bring women traveling with me and it's finally happening and I can't wait to share the experience with all of you once we return from the trip and there is an opportunity to travel with me. If you are not signed up for this trip, we're going to Germany in December and we're experiencing the magic of German Christmas markets. So if you're interested in that, check out. We're experiencing the magic of German Christmas markets. So if you're interested in that, check out the link in the bio or the weekly itinerary that I mail out to all of you. If you're not on my mailing list, what are you waiting for? Instead of doing monthly newsletters like I used to do in the past, now I am doing weekly itineraries where I'm giving you up-to-date information. I'm giving you links, I'm giving you workbooks, I'm giving you guides, playlists, all the things that were in the monthly newsletter You're just getting more of. More often You're getting more of me because I want to interact with all of you. So be sure to sign up for the mailing list. Go to onegirltravelcom to sign up.

Speaker 1: 2:04

But yeah, I want to talk about how to believe in yourself today, because not everybody believes in themselves and I feel like that's a shame. There's no reason not to believe in yourself. But I understand the struggle. I understand that can be difficult to go all in on yourself and believe in yourself enough to step forward into your dreams and what you want to do and go on the path that your soul is craving. And again, I understand it's not easy to do. I didn't always believe in myself but, luckily for me, luckily for me, I've always gave in to those feelings I always wanted to try.

Speaker 1: 2:54

Regret is not something I'm okay with. I cannot live a life where I'm regretting things or I say I wish I did this, I wish I've done that, because to me that is just the worst. I don't want to experience that. I don't want to experience, you know, being on my deathbed and not looking back at my life and being like I am so proud of myself, I'm so glad I did all these things, rather than being like I wish I took a chance on myself, I wish I tried, I wish I experienced life and my friends. Life is out there for you to experience. There's so many things out there to do and to see and people to meet.

Speaker 1: 3:40

Don't be afraid of trying. I say it all the time you cannot fail. You cannot fail unless you don't try. That's the only way you're going to fail. You need to put yourself out there. You need to be okay with messing up and not doing it perfectly, doing it messy, doing it scared. You need to be okay doing it that way, or else you're going to keep preventing yourself from moving forward and experiencing all that life has to offer you.

Speaker 1: 4:11

So, when it comes to believing in yourself, what's preventing you, what's preventing you to go all in on whatever it is that you desire? It could be self-doubt. You can maybe have guilt around the thing that you want to do. You may be embarrassed by what desires you have. You might not have the evidence to prove to yourself that you are capable. And I want to start with the evidence point, because finding evidence is up to you. You can find it or you cannot find it, but it's always there. The evidence is there. You just have to open your eyes to it.

Speaker 1: 4:55

Even if you've never done something before, there is going to be circumstances in your life that you've overcame that can be used as evidence for what it is that you want to do. Let's say, oh, you want to solo travel, but you've never done it before. You don't have evidence that you're capable of solo traveling. Well, I invite you to look back at your past and look at times where maybe you went to a new city and you've never been there before and you had to navigate it on your own. Maybe you got invited to a wedding and you didn't know anybody and you went by yourself. There's so many things that you've done in your life that proves to you that you are capable of whatever comes your way. Now, if you navigated a new city on your own, that shows you you're capable of getting around, you're capable of being on your own and finding your way. If you've went to a wedding by yourself and you didn't know anybody, that shows, okay, you're capable of showing up, you're capable of meeting new people. You're capable of doing things even though it's uncomfortable. Take that evidence and use it as your guide to just push you forward. Look for evidence. You have to look for it, though it's not going to just appear in front of you. You need to dig deep to find this evidence, but it's always there for you Next up.

Speaker 1: 6:21

If you feel guilty about something that you want to do, ask yourself why. What is that guilt stemming from? Is it from other people? Are you worried about what other people are going to think of you, especially when it comes to solo travel? So many people think that solo travel is selfish, and it's not selfish. Solo travel is self-care, and it's not selfish. Solo travel is self-care. Solo travel allows you to take time for yourself to recharge and do whatever it is that you desire so you can show up as a better version of yourself for everybody else in your life.

Speaker 1: 6:55

So if people don't understand why you want to do something, that's their problem. That's not a you problem. You know your reason why and you don't have to justify those reasons to anybody else. You have to be okay with them. So if you're feeling guilt, you need to just evaluate why are you feeling that guilt? Who is making you feel guilty? Most likely, it's nobody else. You're making yourself feel guilty. Nobody else has that control or power over you. Yeah, they can try to make you feel guilty, but it's up to you to accept that or not. You don't have to feel guilty. You can just feel confident with your decision and move forward, and you don't have to appease everybody else the people pleasing. The people pleasing is such a big one because I have been a people pleaser all my life and I'm working hard and not being a people pleaser anymore and doing what feels good to me and what feels true to me, and not feeling the guilt trips that I used to experience, and I would blame other people for me feeling guilty when it was me. Nobody's forcing me to do anything. I get to choose it. So stay true to what you want to do. Stay true to your reason for why you want to do them, and it's too bad. It's too bad if other people feel uncomfortable about what you want to do. You need to do it for you and that's the most important thing.

Speaker 1: 8:28

Self-doubt is another one that I personally struggled with. I would, you know, look at my body and I wouldn't feel worthy of taking big chances on myself or believing in myself, because I felt less than because my body was not an ideal body, an ideal body to me or what I think society believes it to be. But again, nobody else is putting those restrictions on me. I was putting those restrictions on me, me. I was putting those restrictions on me, and once I finally realized that my body is strong, my body is sexy, my body allows me to do everything I want to do, I released those thoughts that my body's holding me back and instead I realized all the ways that my body is helping me move forward and do the things that I want to do.

Speaker 1: 9:21

You need to have a relationship with yourself before you can really have a relationship with anybody else. I truly believe that you need to love yourself first before other people can love you the way that you want to be loved. But that also goes for believing in yourself. You need to believe in yourself and you need to prove to yourself that you're capable. You don't have to prove to anybody else. All that matters is your thoughts about you and how you feel about yourself, and at the end of the day, when you go to bed, are you happy with who you are and what you do. So when you think about who you are as a person, be kind to yourself.

Speaker 1: 10:04

Don't pick out all the things that you don't like or you wish were different. Don't focus on those things. Focus on all the ways that you're great, that you achieve, whatever it is that you want to achieve. All the things you've done in your lifetime, all the friends you've done in your lifetime, all the friends you have, all the family you have, all the good deeds you do. Just think about all the amazing qualities that you embody, because that's what's going to help you have, you know, self-belief where you're going to believe in yourself and you're going to motivate yourself to do the things that you want to do. It's great. It's great when other people are motivating you and are telling you you can do this, you got this, you're doing great, but those people aren't always going to be there. You can't count on other people to cheer you on and push you forward. You have to do it for yourself. You have to be your own cheerleader and, honestly, solo travel is what helped me get to that point.

Speaker 1: 11:04

Also because when I'm solo traveling and those thoughts would creep in where I'm like, oh, I'm so stupid or oh, I don't know what I'm doing, or my body is not, you know, perfect, or whatever. And I would stop myself. I would stop myself right when I'm having those thoughts and be like, no, I don't talk to myself that way, because that's not going to help me. And then I changed my thoughts and I would tell myself I'm learning, I'm working on it, I'm figuring it out, thoughts that felt better and thoughts that were more positive, thoughts that supported me, because I had to support myself, I had to take care of myself because I'm responsible for my experiences in life. Other people can't be responsible for that. You need to take responsibility for it. You need to show up and cheer yourself on and be your own best friend, and solo travel, again, is a great tool for that. It's going to teach you how to do all of those things.

Speaker 1: 12:06

But if you're not ready to travel right now by yourself, first of all, there's a club for you. If you didn't know, I have the One Girl Travel Club and it's my signature membership, where I help women every single month with a new lesson, a new lesson that's going to teach them the art of solo travel and how to be a master at solo traveling and just living life on their terms and going after their dreams. And you get a workbook, you get live lessons, you get live coaching, get a private community behind the scenes. There's so much going on there. I would love for you to join me. Go to onegirltravelcom and sign up, try it out, see how you like it. Also, as a bonus, when you sign up, you get early bird pricing on my group trips. Annual members they not only get my very, very special program, my solo selfie masterclass. If you ever wanted to know how to take incredible photos of yourself without hiring a photographer, you need this masterclass. I go through all the fundamentals of taking incredible selfies and even editing photos, posing all of it. I cover it, but it's only available if you sign up as an annual One Girl Travel Club member. But you also, on top of that, you also get two months for free. You also get a discount code for the group trips, so you save there also, and it's just a great place to be. I'd love for you to join me there, and it's a great way to get started on your solo travel journey because you have access to me 24-7. I'm there for you whenever you need, and together we can get you out and feeling comfortable and going after your goals and believing in yourself. So go visit OneGirlTravelcom, check it out, sign up. I'd love to have you there.

Speaker 1: 14:04

Something that I recommend to try as a little homework is to write a list of all of your amazing qualities. I want you to write at least 25 qualities down that you love about yourself. If you can't say that you love them right now, maybe you like them, but I want you to acknowledge everything that is amazing about you. Write those down and think about why you're capable, why you're able to achieve whatever goals come your way. Honor yourself, talk yourself up, be your own hype girl. Do whatever you need to do to allow you to realize that you're amazing and you can do this. You can do hard things, even if you're scared, even if you don't know how you can still do it, but you need do this. You can do hard things, even if you're scared, even if you don't know how you can still do it, but you need to try. So write that list. Let me know how it feels for you.

Speaker 1: 15:02

I know it can feel uncomfortable sometimes if this isn't something you're used to doing, but write the list and really reflect on all those qualities about yourself. Then also write down what it is that you want to do, whether it's solo travel, start a business, whatever it is. Write that down. After that, write down evidence of why you're capable of doing it. Find other circumstances in your life that you overcame that were similar. It doesn't have to be the exact same thing, but similar to what you're going after. Write that down and hold that evidence near to your heart. Reflect on it when you doubt yourself, and this needs to be an active practice. You can't just do this once and be done with it and that's it. You need to keep reflecting, keep journaling, keep looking inward and finding those qualities about yourself, so that way you have it in your pocket when you need it, when you feel those self-doubt feelings or you're feeling embarrassed or guilty or whatever it is, and you pull from them and you go after it. I do hope that this podcast gives you some encouragement to believe in yourself and to find the evidence that you need to move forward on what it is that you want to do. If you need guidance, along with One Girl Travel Club, I also offer one-on-one coaching, so reach out to me. I would love to work with you. I would love to be by your side on your journey and help provide you with the encouragement and the coaching to get you to the point where you do believe in yourself and you do take a chance on yourself to go after whatever goals you set for yourself.

Speaker 1: 16:41

Because, honestly, as most of you know, I left my corporate job in January and it was a safe job. I could have stayed there forever, but there was something more inside of me which was one girl travel. I knew that one girl travel was my calling and this is something I wanted to do and I would regret it if I didn't do it. And I gave my notice and I embarked on an entrepreneur life now and I'm learning. I don't know what I'm doing. Most of the time I'm figuring it out and I'm just learning as I go. And I'm learning. I don't know what I'm doing. Most of the time I'm figuring it out and I'm just learning as I go. And I put myself out there and I remind myself of why I am capable. And even though it's scary, even though I don't always feel comfortable doing things, I do it anyway Because my desire for growing One Girl Travel and helping as many women as possible feel comfortable and confident solo traveling and living the solo travel lifestyle of just not waiting around for anybody else and having that that love for yourself and the confidence to go after anything you desire in your life and know that you're capable and just really believe in yourself.

Speaker 1: 18:01

And that's my goal and that's what allows me to put myself out there and try things and go on social media and YouTube. By the way, thank you for watching if you're on YouTube and listening to the podcast, but, yeah, watching if you're on YouTube and listening to the podcast, but yeah, it's all a journey. We get one chance at life, so why not live it authentically, to what you want to do and just try. That's really the main, the main part of this, my friends. Just try and do it. Do it scared, do it confused, do it sad, do it happy, do it whatever. However, you need to do it, just do it. Do it scared, do it confused, do it sad, do it happy, do it whatever. However, you need to do it, just do it.

Speaker 1: 18:41

Um, but yeah, I'm gonna end it here because I need to finish up what I'm doing for this Italy trip and I am. I can't believe it's actually happening. It's really surreal. It's been a long time in the making. I had the epiphany for it in 2019, september 2019. And it's finally happening, and I cannot wait to see these women in Italy and have an incredible adventure with them, and I can't wait for more experiences like that in the future and I hope to travel with you one day. So thank you for listening, thank you for watching and I will talk to you soon.

Speaker 2: 19:26

Bye. Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the one girl travel podcast. If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. You can find out more about your host on our website, onegirltravelcom, or follow her on instagram, facebook, pinterest and tiktok. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.