In this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, I am sharing how I started the month of October with a solo date to a day spa and the importance of dating yourself.
Life demands that we consistently practice self-love and self-care. I encourage you to consider going on a solo outing, meeting new people, and prioritizing your happiness. It's about breaking free from societal expectations and embracing life on your terms. Your life is yours to savor, so why not make the most of it?
Join me as we explore the journey of self-discovery, gaining confidence, and living life to its fullest. Let's take deliberate steps towards finding comfort in our own company and experiencing the freedom that comes with it.
If you enjoyed this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, then I invite you to follow me on Instagram. That's where all the fun is happening! @ONE_GIRL_TRAVEL
In this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, I am sharing how I started the month of October with a solo date to a day spa and the importance of dating yourself.
Life demands that we consistently practice self-love and self-care. I encourage you to consider going on a solo outing, meeting new people, and prioritizing your happiness. It's about breaking free from societal expectations and embracing life on your terms. Your life is yours to savor, so why not make the most of it?
Join me as we explore the journey of self-discovery, gaining confidence, and living life to its fullest. Let's take deliberate steps towards finding comfort in our own company and experiencing the freedom that comes with it.
If you enjoyed this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, then I invite you to follow me on Instagram. That's where all the fun is happening! @ONE_GIRL_TRAVEL
Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, episode number 54.
Speaker 2:
Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, your passport to the world of solo travel With certified life and travel coach, alessia Tenebruso. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel, while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way. Now here's your host, alessia Tenebruso.
Speaker 1:
Hello, my friends, and welcome to episode number 54 of the One Girl Travel Podcast. Happy October we're here. I think it is so crazy how fast this year has flown by, but I personally, I love October. It's my birthday month. I think it's such a fun month and I am starting the month off by doing something that really is important to do, and it's date yourself.
Speaker 1:
So many of us we wait to be romanticized and get the flowers bought for us or get taken out for dinner or go to nice places, and we expect other people to bring us those things or take us to those places. But you don't have to wait. You can do that for yourself, whether you have a partner or not. You should constantly be dating yourself. You should constantly be treating yourself the way that you believe you should be treated. You should be celebrating yourself. Even if it's the smallest thing that you're celebrating, it should still be celebrated, and I want to remind you of this because it is such a powerful exercise and it feels really good and it's fun.
Speaker 1:
So today I as I'm recording it, this podcast, it's October 1st and I took myself out on a date today and I wanted to record this podcast after I went on this excursion because I wanted to share my experience with you in hopes of inspiring you to go and take yourself out on a date. So the past few weeks, months, whatever they've been heavy, and I know a lot of people that have also been experiencing this heaviness. And I'm over it, I'm done. I'm so done with it, and I decided to take matters in my own hands and take myself out to do something that would make me feel good, and that thing was to go to a spa. So I am located on Long Island, new York, and there's this spa in New Jersey, edgewater, new Jersey, called Sojo Spa, and it's this day spa where you get your admission for the day, you can hang out as long as you want, and they have all these pools and saunas and massage jets and steam rooms, and then you can book services. They have a restaurant and it's so much fun.
Speaker 1:
I've been there a few times before with other people and it's a quick drive. It was only about 40 minutes for me to get there and last night, as I was finishing up some of my work, I realized I need a break. I need a break and I also want to start this month on the right foot and I know I needed some downtime, some time away from the computer and some time to myself, because, even though I know there were plenty of people that would have wanted to go with me, I didn't ask anybody to join me. I didn't want anybody to join me. I wanted to go alone and just be with myself and just relax and enjoy myself and be on my own time. And that's exactly what I did.
Speaker 1:
I treated myself to this day at the spa, where I didn't have to speak if I didn't want to, but I happened to meet some great people and had amazing conversations and actually had some conversations regarding solo travel and life coaching, which was really, really nice. And I got to treat myself to lunch and just go at a leisurely rate and just relax and enjoy and be present. And honestly, now that I'm reflecting back on the day, at no point did I think to myself. This feels uncomfortable Because I've been doing this for a while and, honestly, I'm at the point now where something like that that feels like second nature. And if the thought of taking yourself out for the day to a spa feels intimidating to you, just know that the more you do things by yourself, the easier it's going to get. You're going to get more confident just being alone with your thoughts, being alone and just enjoying your own company, having conversations with strangers, feeling confident enough in yourself to navigate wherever you have to go. It will get easier and it will become very much second nature, but you have to continually practice. This woman that I met at the spa was so nice and she was telling me how she doesn't feel comfortable having conversations with other people and she doesn't think that she would be comfortable solo traveling. And that's where I have to remind you all that it's not comfortable at first. It isn't going to be comfortable. You have to embrace the fact that it's going to be uncomfortable, that you're doing something that is outside your comfort zone, that you're doing something you've never done before. But if the thought of living a life of freedom doing the things that you want to do is a strong feeling for you, then you need to know that it's worth feeling that discomfort. The discomfort is not going to last forever. It's temporary. You can handle a challenge and then, when it's done, you're going to be so proud of yourself. And the challenge I'm talking about is taking yourself out on a date. It's not something hard. It's not something that's going to bring pain or anything. This is something that is supposed to be fun and exciting and it's something that we should all be doing for ourselves.
Speaker 1:
I never want to hear that anybody is waiting for somebody else for them to feel good. You cannot expect other people to make you feel good unless you feel good with yourself. You have to set the standard of how other people are going to treat you. You need to treat yourself with so much love and care and thoughtfulness. You have to give yourself everything you desire, because it's not up to other people to make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself. You have to make yourself happy. You have to create a life for yourself that you are truly happy with, and you do have that control. You get to decide how you live. You get to decide how you show up and what decisions you make. So you need to know that you're worth that effort, even when it feels so uncomfortable. You are worth the effort. You're worth feeling discomfort for a little while, because you're going to grow and you're going to create a life that you want for yourself. And again, if you're not comfortable doing things by yourself, if the thought of taking yourself out on a date feels so uncomfortable, then you need to start with little steps. You like to call them turtle steps. What's a turtle step for you that you can do this week, if you're not comfortable doing anything by yourself?
Speaker 1:
Go to a cafe. Get yourself a nice coffee, a tea, whatever, a croissant pastry. Sit down at that cafe. Do not run out to your car. Don't go through the drive-thru. Sit down at a table and be present. Don't pull out your phone. Do not take out a book.
Speaker 1:
Sit there with your thoughts, with yourself and see what comes up for you. What thoughts are you thinking? What are you feeling in your body? Identify those things, the thoughts, the feelings. Identify them and then ask yourself why? Why am I feeling that way? And then ask yourself also those thoughts that you're thinking are they true?
Speaker 1:
If you're saying to yourself everyone's looking at me, I feel so stupid. Ask yourself is that true? Is everyone really looking at you? Because I can promise you they're not looking at you. They're not. They don't care. We have this thought in our heads that everybody's so concerned with us. No one cares. They care about themselves. Nobody's paying attention to you, what you're doing, they don't care if you dropped a crumb on your shirt or whatever. We make it up in our heads and then we just discourage ourselves because we make up these stories where we're trying to, I guess, protect ourselves by saying oh, they're looking at us, we shouldn't be doing this, let me stop, let me go in the car, let me go through the drive-thru. No, those are excuses, those are thoughts. Those aren't real.
Speaker 1:
Fight the urge to prevent yourself from doing things. Fight the urge from telling yourself that you can't do something. Just do it. Who cares what anybody thinks, even if they are looking at you? Who cares? You can't control what other people think and you can't read minds either, so you have no idea what they're even thinking. All that matters is that you're living the life that you want and you're doing the things that you want to do. Nothing else matters. They're not living your life for you. It's your life. You get to choose what you do. So, anyway, that went on a whole little tangent there. But if you are comfortable going out for breakfast by yourself, then I encourage you. Go out for lunch, you're okay with that. Go to a movie, go to a concert, go to the museum, take yourself out to dinner. Dinner is usually where a lot of people struggle the most, because most people, when they're dining out for dinner, it's usually at date night or they're with people. It's not as common to see people dining by themselves, and I strongly encourage you to take yourself out on a dinner date.
Speaker 1:
Embrace the feelings of discomfort. Show up as your future self. That is a tool that I love to use when I started solo traveling, and when I feel uncomfortable in situations, I like to think about my future self. Who is she? Who do I want to be in 10 years? How does she show up? What does she wear? How does she act? How does she speak? What does she think? And then I embody her. I wear the outfits that I feel confident in. I think the thoughts that my future self would think. I act in a way that my future self would act, and that brings me. It's like a superpower almost. You're just pulling it from within and you're embodying her now, and that makes you feel more brave and confident and it's fun too. And that's another thing you need to consider when you're challenging yourself in this way, don't look at it as something bad when you're stepping outside your comfort zone, when you're doing things you've never done before. It's not a bad thing. Think about it as fun, as exciting, go into it with thoughts of curiosity, and that's going to make the experience so much better. And I know I've really went all over the map with this. I'm just it's coming out of me and I need to share it as I'm thinking of it.
Speaker 1:
I did not write a script up for this one just because it's something I'm so passionate about and I don't want to see anybody not living their life because they're waiting on somebody else to date them or take them out or treat them. Treat yourself, date yourself. Even if you have a partner, you can't depend on other people to make you happy. Yes, it is amazing to have somebody that does make you happy, but you also need to not put that pressure on them to make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself. You have to have your own life. You have to do the things that make you happy, because most likely, you're not going to agree on everything and your partner's not going to want to do everything you want to do, and you have to be okay doing it by yourself. There's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 1:
Think about things that you enjoy doing. When was the last time you've done them? If you like, going to spas when was the last time you took yourself to a spa? If you like, doing artwork, when was the last time you picked up a pencil and drew? There's so many things that you can be doing right now to bring you back to yourself and to make you feel like you, and I hope you never lose that and I hope that you make the time for yourself this month.
Speaker 1:
This is my challenge for you this month. I want you to go on a date with yourself and I want you to tag me, document it on Instagram or Facebook. Tag me when you go on your date, post a picture, whatever. Let me know what you do on your solo date. That way, I can support you and cheer you on and you know that I'm there for you, and I get excited when I hear that you're out doing things by yourself and you get inspired by something I say and it motivates you to go out and do things alone. I want to see where you're going on your date and I want you to go out and treat yourself this month to something that's really special to you. That would make you so happy and maybe even a little scared.
Speaker 1:
So, my friends, I'm going to end the podcast here. I want to remind you, we're in a new month, which means the One Girl Travel October edition of the newsletter is out now. You do not want to miss it. Make sure you are subscribed to my mailing list and when you're subscribed, you get my guide for free 10 tips on how to start solo traveling guide. Then you get this month's newsletter, of course, and then we also have a new topic that we're learning in the One Girl Travel Club, and it is a very, very important topic, and I would love for you to join us.
Speaker 1:
And as I record this, I'm so excited to say this there's only one spot left for the One Girl Travel Italy group trip One spot. Are you joining us? Is that spot for you? Have you been wanting to travel to Italy? Have you been wanting to experience solo travel? This is a trip for you. I am here. A community of women are here for you. We have 23 women going on this trip and we have one more opening. So if that is something you want to do, do not sleep on this Join us. Go to OneGirlTravelcom. I'll put the link in the show notes for you to join and I hope that you decide to go on the ultimate date with yourself with a trip to Italy, and I hope you have an amazing day. I hope this month is just lighter and slower and less stressful for you, and I can't wait to see what this month brings. I hope you have a fabulous day and I will talk to you all soon. Until next time.