Discomfort, heartbreak, and emotional vulnerability can be uncomfortable spaces to navigate. But what if we embraced those feelings instead of running from them? In this deeply personal episode, I, Alessia Tenebruso, certified life and travel coach, lay bare my feelings as I recount my experiences with dating after a long break and the pain of rejection. I discuss how I learned to sit with my discomfort instead of avoiding it, hoping this episode can give you the courage to face your own fears and discomforts head-on.
As the One Girl Travel Podcast nears its first anniversary, I continue to offer candid insights into life experiences like dating, reinforcing the importance of community and the validation of feelings amidst life's uncertainties. This episode isn't just about facing rejection in dating; it's about not allowing setbacks to deter you from your journey, reminding you that every setback is a setup for a comeback. This isn't just about solo travel but about solo living and the belief in your capacity to pursue what you want. Join me as we traverse the path of solo travel and self-discovery, no matter what life throws at us.
If you enjoyed this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, then I invite you to follow me on Instagram. That's where all the fun is happening! @ONE_GIRL_TRAVEL
Discomfort, heartbreak, and emotional vulnerability can be uncomfortable spaces to navigate. But what if we embraced those feelings instead of running from them? In this deeply personal episode, I, Alessia Tenebruso, certified life and travel coach, lay bare my feelings as I recount my experiences with dating after a long break and the pain of rejection. I discuss how I learned to sit with my discomfort instead of avoiding it, hoping this episode can give you the courage to face your own fears and discomforts head-on.
As the One Girl Travel Podcast nears its first anniversary, I continue to offer candid insights into life experiences like dating, reinforcing the importance of community and the validation of feelings amidst life's uncertainties. This episode isn't just about facing rejection in dating; it's about not allowing setbacks to deter you from your journey, reminding you that every setback is a setup for a comeback. This isn't just about solo travel but about solo living and the belief in your capacity to pursue what you want. Join me as we traverse the path of solo travel and self-discovery, no matter what life throws at us.
If you enjoyed this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, then I invite you to follow me on Instagram. That's where all the fun is happening! @ONE_GIRL_TRAVEL
Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, episode number 51.
Speaker 2:
Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, your passport to the world of solo travel With certified life and travel coach, alessia Tennebruzzo. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel, while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way. Now here's your host, alessia Tennebruzzo.
Speaker 1:
Hello, my friends, and welcome to episode number 51 of the One Girl Travel Podcast. Happy September. We're here, but summer's not over. We still have a few more weeks and I'm going to just enjoy every second of it. I love fall, but I want to hold on to summer a little bit longer. We are one week away from the one year anniversary of the One Girl Travel Podcast and I can't believe it. It is so exciting.
Speaker 1:
I love being here with you, I love talking to you and this podcast episode is going to be pretty personal. So I mean, they're all pretty personal, but as I'm recording this, I literally just went through this and it's top of mind. So I want to share it with all of you because I'm sure many of you can relate to it. And it's sitting in the discomfort. It's dealing with the hard things and not giving up and not avoiding them and embracing those really uncomfortable feelings. So I know I said it on a previous podcast, but I started dating a few months ago after years of avoiding it.
Speaker 1:
I typically have a trend where I will date, I'll get hurt and then I'll just avoid it for years at a time. Come back on, get hurt, avoid it. That has been my go-to for dating for a long time, for far too long, and this time around, dating met somebody and you know, unfortunately I don't want to say unfortunately, but fortunately for him he found somebody else that he is interested in, which is not me, and it really sucked to hear, it really hurt, especially when I haven't been vulnerable with a man in a very long time and allowing him in and access to me and my emotions and, you know, building that trust up and then finding out that, you know it didn't work out with us. He found something that he was more interested in and whatever. Like that part. It is what it is. It wasn't meant to be, but I could say that now because I'm clear-headed and I'm not emotional right now, but at the moment when I was told that it wasn't me, it was somebody else, it hurt. It hurt really bad and you know I found out while I was working. So that was a whole thing with crying and trying to avoid my coworkers and all that.
Speaker 1:
Thankfully, thankfully, I have community and that's why I built the One Girl Travel community so I can support my community and as a life coach, I am doing the work right alongside you. I need this work just as much as you do, and I have my mentors and I have my community that I work with, that I get support from, and that support is everything. It is so important to me. I don't know where I'd be without it and that's why I am here to support you for whatever you're going through, whether it's solo travel or anything else in your life. That is why I am a coach and I am here for you.
Speaker 1:
But anyways, I talked it out with my mentor and my community and my first reaction was I feel stupid. And they asked me why do you feel stupid? And I said because I didn't see this coming and I allowed myself to feel these things for somebody that I wasn't even sure you know, I didn't even know them that long Like I shouldn't have had these feelings or I don't want to say shouldn't have, but at the time I felt like I shouldn't have. And they reminded me that my feelings are valid and it's okay to be emotional and it's okay to feel sad or loss from something or somebody. And I told them now I want to delete my dating apps, I want to avoid men, I don't want to deal with this, I don't want to be hurt, and that's a trauma response for me, and that's something I have learned recently as I started dating that there is trauma involved with how I connect with people, and things I didn't realize until I put myself in a new situation, and for me it's relationships. For you it could be spending time on your own or starting something new. Whatever it is, there could be so much more to it that you don't realize until you're in it. And for me, I didn't realize that it was something I needed to address until I was actively dating and starting to form relationships, and it's something I've been working on and doing work with.
Speaker 1:
And so, instead of going to my go-to trauma response, which is avoidance and deleting the apps and blocking him and pretending it didn't exist, which always my go-to I was encouraged to sit in the pain and feel the pain and embrace the pain, and it didn't feel good. It did not feel good at all and I did it. I sat with it and eventually the pain subsided, the emotions calmed down, I was able to think more rationally and then I was encouraged instead of deleting the apps, why not embrace the apps? Why not embrace dating again, meeting somebody new, instead of avoiding it altogether and coming back in a few years. Why not keep going? Just keep going right. And in that moment I'm like how can I keep going? I just got so hurt. How can I do this over and over again? I don't want to do this. And then I started thinking about the big picture, and I started thinking about life and goals, the big goals, the goals that are important to me. And if I gave up every time that I felt uncomfortable or sad or defeated or hurt, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be at this point in my life.
Speaker 1:
It's with those moments of disappointment and fear and sadness that you have to keep going, that you have to stay true to yourself and not give up because you're scared of how it's going to end up. However, the result happens. It happens for a reason and you can't avoid it. I can't avoid it, shouldn't avoid it. There's too much to look forward to, there's too many possibilities out there for us, and it's so important for you to go after that, no matter how hard it hurts, no matter how uncomfortable it feels, to go after it and embrace life. It's ups and downs and everything in between, and I just wanted to record this for you because it's a reminder of how you want to live your life.
Speaker 1:
Do you want to live your life avoiding fear and discomfort or do you want to go after it and embrace it and be willing to feel uncomfortable? It always comes back to discomfort. Sorry, it does, because it's true and again, I'm doing this work beside you I am not immune to feeling sad or uncomfortable or scared. I have some big goals for myself and I am terrified. I am so, so terrified of making these big decisions because it's going to change my life and I don't know what's going to happen when I make those decisions, but my why, of why I want to do them, of why I'm willing to risk it all for them, that's what's pushing me forward, that's what keeps me going. And the same goes for dating and meeting the right person, because I do want that in my life and that is worth me feeling uncomfortable or feeling stressed out or sad or disappointed. It's worth it because my life is worth it and your life is worth it, and the possibilities of what's to come are all worth it. And this podcast episode's going to be a little shorter I will warn out from the day, but there are better days ahead and there's going to be a lot more disappointment coming, and it's okay. It is okay.
Speaker 1:
So I just wanted to use this podcast episode as a reminder for you to keep going. When it feels hard and scary and whatever other feelings come up for you, push through. Believe in yourself enough, trust yourself enough to keep going. And if you struggle with that, if you need somebody to be there beside you, I am here for you and I would love to coach you through it. I love to support you, either one-on-one or through the One Girl Travel Club, or even in Italy, if you desire, and I would love for you to take one of those last three spots.
Speaker 1:
But whatever you need, that's what this community is here for. That's what I'm here for. I want to support you and again, it is not just about solo travel, it's the solo travel lifestyle, it is feeling confident enough in yourself to do whatever it is you desire in life. And it's to have that confidence in yourself to just go after it and to not give up and to know you're capable. And I'm here for you and I would love to support you. So go check out OneGirlTravelcom, learn how to work with me, send me an email, write to me on Instagram, whatever it is. I'm here, I'm all over the place and I will catch up with you at the one-year anniversary episode, and I cannot wait for it. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for being a part of my community. Thank you for your support. I love you. I'll talk to you next time.
Speaker 2:
Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast. If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. You can find out more about your host on our website, onegirltravelcom, or follow her on Instagram, facebook, pinterest and TikTok. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.