Before we get started… I need to apologize to you.
You see, last week's podcast episode may have sounded a little different, and I'm calling myself out on it on today's episode.
So to make it up to you. Today's podcast is answering the three most popular questions I receive from the One Girl Travel Community, which are:
How do you solo travel safely?
How do you get over feeling lonely?
How to meet people when traveling solo?
Prepare for a packed episode full of tips and tools to help you have the best solo travel experience possible!
Join the One Girl Travel Mailing List to receive the monthly newsletter and my free: 10 Tips to Begin Solo Traveling Guide as a thank you!
Join here: https://onegirltravel.com/freebie
If you enjoyed this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, then I invite you to follow me on Instagram. That's where all the fun is happening! @ONE_GIRL_TRAVEL
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/one_girl_travel/
Join the One Girl Travel Club
Grab your free copy of my 10 Tips to Begin Solo Traveling Guide
Before we get started… I need to apologize to you.
You see, last week's podcast episode may have sounded a little different, and I'm calling myself out on it on today's episode.
So to make it up to you. Today's podcast is answering the three most popular questions I receive from the One Girl Travel Community, which are:
How do you solo travel safely?
How do you get over feeling lonely?
How to meet people when traveling solo?
Prepare for a packed episode full of tips and tools to help you have the best solo travel experience possible!
Join the One Girl Travel Mailing List to receive the monthly newsletter and my free: 10 Tips to Begin Solo Traveling Guide as a thank you!
Join here: https://onegirltravel.com/freebie
If you enjoyed this episode of the One Girl Travel Podcast, then I invite you to follow me on Instagram. That's where all the fun is happening! @ONE_GIRL_TRAVEL
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/one_girl_travel/
Join the One Girl Travel Club
Grab your free copy of my 10 Tips to Begin Solo Traveling Guide
Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, episode number 48.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the One Girl Travel Podcast, your passport to the world of solo travel With certified life and travel coach, alessia Tennebruzzo. Join Alessia as she shares her own journey of self-discovery through solo travel, while also focusing on topics such as life coaching insights and travel tips along the way. Now here's your host, alessia Tennebruzzo.
Speaker 1:Hello, my friends, and welcome to episode number 48 of the One Girl Travel Podcast. I'm here today firstly to say that last week's podcast episode I want to be transparent with you I forgot about it. After 47 weeks of publishing this podcast, recording it every week, I managed to completely forget about the podcast and it wasn't until Monday, when I was driving into work, that I was like it's Monday, I didn't record the podcast. So I had to put together a podcast episode quickly for you because I did not want to let you down. So if I sounded a little off on last week's podcast episode, that's why and I wasn't going to say anything and somebody one of my mentors actually recognized the change in my voice and the episode in general and I was like oh no, if she notices, other people probably notice. So this is my apology to you. I apologize, I just I've been enjoying the summer. I really have.
Speaker 1:There's been a lot going on. A lot of change is in the air. I'm working with the One Girl Travel Club with the 31 Day Reset, which I did speak about in last week's episode, and I'm doing a lot of personal things that are just changing and I don't want to speak too much on it right now, but we'll see what happens and I'm sure you will see as time goes on what what's happening. But anyways, I wanted to talk to you today just in general about solo travel, to kind of go over the questions that I receive about solo travel, the concerns that many of you have regarding solo travel, and just have a little chat with you. I won't be reading from my script, which I did last episode, which is not the norm for me. I usually like to go off the cuff with these podcast episodes because it's just. That's just how I operate. I like to just talk it out, I like to say what's on my mind and just let it be organic, and that's what this episode is going to be. So one of the first questions actually one of the main questions that I receive about solo travel is, of course, safety. Safety is everyone's concern, which it should be.
Speaker 1:Solo travel means that you are traveling somewhere by yourself and if you have never been to this destination, whether it's overseas or in the next town over it can feel very overwhelming, especially if you have never done anything like this by yourself. So you want to make sure that you are prepared for whatever could happen, and being prepared is very different than being so consumed with fear that's going to prevent you from enjoying yourself. Being prepared means just having knowledge of what to expect in a worst case scenario and being prepared for it. For instance, one of the things that I love to pack with me to just put me at ease when I'm traveling and when I'm staying in a hotel or just somewhere else that is not my home, I like to bring this travel door jam, and now this is the simplest little gadget. It's a little metal rectangle with a little chain and a thing that locks into place and you put that in between the door knob and the door and you put the chain around it, you do a little thingy and locks into place and it prevents anybody from pushing the door in. I don't know about you, but when I am staying in some place unfamiliar and I am staying by myself in that place, I get a little nervous at night, and I am a seasoned solo traveler. It's been over 11 years now. I still get nervous. So I bring that with me and I could sleep. I could sleep easy, knowing that is an extra protection for me.
Speaker 1:Now, if you don't have that door jam, there are other things that you can do where you can put hangers. You can rig up two hangers together, put it on like if there's a latch or you know, like one of those I don't even know what you would call it like a hook, and I thing you put it on there and put it around the door handle, kind of just make up some MacGyver security system for yourself where if somebody tries to open the door, it's protected, it's not going to open all the way, it's jammed somehow. You can do the same by putting a towel in that safety latch to make sure that nobody can put a wire under the door and open it or swipe a credit card through it. Do whatever you have to do. I have moved furniture, I have shoved chairs under the doors, the doorknobs, I've moved desks in front of the doors. Whatever you have to do to make yourself feel comfortable, do it. As long as you are not messing up the hotel or the Airbnb, wherever you're staying, as long as you're respectful to the furniture. And whatever you're doing, do it. There's no shame in wanting to protect yourself and wanting a good night's sleep when you're traveling. So that's my first tip for you.
Speaker 1:Second tip when it comes to safety when you're solo traveling is to share your location. On iPhones, I know you can share your location. I'm sure on Android you can as well. I share my location 24 seven with my mother, my sister and one of my best friends. They have my location at all times and I'm perfectly okay with that because I want to make sure that I'm accounted for. But if you don't feel comfortable having your location on all the time for people to see, turn it on when you're traveling and give it to somebody that you trust that can monitor your whereabouts, because just in case that they don't hear from you, something happens, you're accounted for, they know where you are and they can find you. So I think that is a very important thing to do. Just make sure you're sharing it with somebody you trust that's not going to abuse the fact that they have your GPS location.
Speaker 1:My next tip when it comes to safety is don't flaunt your luxury goods. I know you want to show off your beautiful handbags and your jewelry and all the nice things, but know when there's a right time to do it and a wrong time. If you're walking around by yourself in a very touristy area, you're going to stick out. If you're wearing designer labels and expensive jewelry and just showing off luxury goods, it's not a good idea. If you're by yourself, yeah, you want to look nice. You can still look nice without wearing logos all over you or making it obvious that you have expensive items on you and, of course, you also want to be mindful about that area and the dress codes and the customs when it comes to clothing as well.
Speaker 1:And if you know me by now, I love getting dressed up. When I solo travel, when I go out to dinner, I am in basically a ball gown going out to eat. I love getting dressed up, but I'm also not walking around at night. When I'm dressed up like that. I am taking a taxi or an Uber from my hotel directly to the restaurant and then I'm doing the same from the restaurant to the hotel. I'm not wandering the streets all dressed up and during the day I'm more casual. I'm wearing clothes that I'm comfortable walking around in and I don't care if they get sweaty or dirty or ripped up, if I'm crawling around some like boulders or something I don't know.
Speaker 1:But you just want to be appropriately dressed and be mindful about the luxury goods and standing out and your jewelry. If you have to wear a fake wedding ring if you want, instead of wearing your real one, do it. There's great imitation rings out there. But just protect yourself and don't bring items that you wouldn't be okay losing or having taken from you and I know that's kind of scary, but it's also reality, because there are bad people out there who do want to take nice things from you. So don't be a target. Just be mindful when it comes to safety.
Speaker 1:I also want you to be mindful when it comes to meeting new friends. I love meeting new friends. I love meeting new people, but you need to trust your instincts when you meet people. If you feel off in any way when you are meeting somebody, that should be your guide to leave. If something doesn't feel right, trust that instinct. Do not stick around to see if it changes. It's not worth it. Trust your instinct.
Speaker 1:Don't leave your drinks unattended around anybody I know your parents probably told you this all your life. Don't leave your drinks unattended. Do not trust somebody with your drinks. Only drink what is handed to you straight from the bartender and just be careful. Don't drink too much. Have your wits about you.
Speaker 1:It's okay to enjoy yourself, but you also have to be responsible for yourself. That is the main priority when you're solo traveling when it comes to safety. You have to take care of yourself. You have to know where you're going, you have to know what you're doing. You have to be able to navigate yourself to get you home safely. That's your priority. Fun adventure all that is second to safety. All right, now let's move on to a different topic, because I can talk about solo travel safety all day, and I already have talked about solo travel safety in previous podcasts. But if you would like a new podcast episode about safety, maybe I can add some more things to the list. I think I'll do that because the one-year anniversary of the One Girl Travel Podcast is coming up really soon in a few more episodes. So we will definitely get back to that and I will elaborate more on solo travel safety because I want you to feel so comfortable when you're traveling by yourself as comfortable as possible for you.
Speaker 1:But the next topic is loneliness. I know a lot of people that like to ask me don't you get lonely? How do you get over being lonely? What do you do when you're by yourself and you're have nobody else to hang out with. You have nobody to talk to. Aren't you lonely? And the short answer is yes. I have gotten lonely before on a solo travel trip.
Speaker 1:It definitely happens, and especially in the beginning, when you're first starting out solo traveling, you will feel loneliness. Guess what? It's only a feeling. It's only a feeling because you're thinking about it. You're thinking about how you might miss having somebody there to talk to you. You might miss the comfort of having somebody there to distract you from the feelings, from the feelings of loneliness or overwhelm. It all goes back to what are you telling yourself in that moment when you are feeling lonely? What are you saying to yourself? Are you saying that you're a failure because you're bored on your solo travel trip? Because that's not true. You are a champion for going on a solo travel trip and it is totally acceptable to feel loneliness while you are solo traveling. So get that out of your head. But realistically, yes, you're going to feel lonely and yes, even 11 years into solo travel, I can still feel lonely.
Speaker 1:It depends on the situation, it depends on the mood, it depends on the time of day, it depends on my hormones, like anything could be dependent on why you would feel lonely. Maybe I know well. I'll give you an example for me. I feel lonely sometimes when I see a bunch of people dancing, because I think about my group of friends and how we love dancing together. I'm like man I wish my friends were here, like I wish I could be dancing with them. But now I've learned to dance by myself, solo, travel dancing. Why not enjoy yourself? You're there for you, so don't put limits on yourself because there's not anybody there to do the thing that you would want to do with a group of friends. You can still do it now, when you're in your hotel room at night.
Speaker 1:After a long day of being busy and active and exploring and having conversations with people, whatever it is that you're doing during the day, you're going to go back to your hotel room at night and that's where you feel it the most, because it's going to be silent. If you allow yourself to sit in silence, you might put the TV on, you might make phone calls, you might scroll on TikTok or Instagram. If you don't do that which I recommend you don't just sit in the silence and pay attention to the thoughts that you're telling yourself. What are you saying to yourself and if you're saying things that don't serve you, like oh you're such a loser for doing this, you're so stupid, I can't believe you did this. You're crazy. Why are we here? This sucks, I'm so bored, I'm so lonely Stop. You have to learn to stop and control your thoughts. It's going to take time. You're not going to be able to just flip a switch and turn your thoughts around, but with practice you can practice turning your thoughts around to thoughts that better serve you, that are still believable.
Speaker 1:If you're telling yourself things like you're so stupid, I can't believe you did this, you're so lonely, I can't believe that we're here. Why are we doing this? Whatever it is that you're telling yourself, instead, tell yourself I'm so proud of you, you're doing something you've never done before. This is going to get easier. It's okay to feel lonely. I'm by myself in a new destination.
Speaker 1:All of those things are true. You can feel it in your body. You know for a fact. Those thoughts are still true, but they serve you. They're not holding you back. They're allowing you to move forward. And that's the difference of thoughts that you tell yourself that are negative first, thoughts that are positive and again, you're not telling yourself you're not going from. Oh, I'm so bored, I'm such a loser, I can't believe I'm doing this to. Oh, I'm such a rock star, I'm not bored or lonely at all. This is amazing because that's not going to feel true to you. If you're in the moment and you're feeling lonely and you're feeling sad, you're not going to think you're a rock star in that moment and you're not going to say that this is awesome. Instead, you can say I am learning, it will get easier, I got this, I'm doing new things, I'm trying it out. Those are just small shifts in your thoughts that are going to help you move forward and eventually, the more you tell yourself those thoughts, the more you say it over and over, you're going to change your mindset. You are going to change how you talk to yourself in general, not just with solar travel. You're going to learn to control your thoughts and create these thought turnarounds for every occasion in your life.
Speaker 1:I used to talk so negatively to myself all the time. I can't tell you how often I would say oh, you're so stupid, why are you doing this? Now, if I dare say that to myself on the very rare occasion, I stop myself immediately, immediately cut that thought off and change it to something that's serving me, because now I have that knowledge and I have the practice, because I practice it every single day of my life. And yeah, it's going to feel uncomfortable, it's going to feel a little weird, but it's going to make you so much better at trying new things, at supporting yourself, at just having your own back. It's really important to do so. Start today with that. Start today with the thought turnarounds, because it's going to change your life and it not just again, not just with solar travel. It's going to change your life in every way possible because you're going to be your best friend and that's what solar travel is all about Just having so much fun that you are okay being by yourself. And eventually that loneliness will fade because you do enjoy your own company. You're okay sitting in your own thoughts and just experiencing all the things by yourself and having your own back and just enjoying you. And that's a goal and you'll get there.
Speaker 1:I promise the last topic I wanna touch on because I don't wanna talk your ear off, because I am going rogue this episode and I could talk for a really long time if I allowed myself, but I'm not gonna do that. So the next topic is meeting people. Again, when I said, trust your instinct when you meet new people, I truly believe that. Absolutely trust your instincts, stay guarded, but also be open to the opportunity of meeting new people. Once you feel that you're comfortable with somebody, that you feel like they are not a threat to you, then have conversations and just be open to organic friendships or opportunities happening. Again, with some caution involved you don't wanna get into anybody's car or anything like that but use your judgment.
Speaker 1:I can tell you that I have made the most incredible friendships over the past decade when it comes to solo travel. I am still friends with pretty much everybody I ever met while solo traveling and those relationships are so important to me because when you meet somebody when you're traveling by yourself, it's just a special relationship because they're there for the time that you experienced something new in your life and with each solo trip that you take, you're going to experience something life changing most likely, and those people might be there for it and experience it with you and that's really special. I can remember the first time I saw the Colosseum in Rome. I was there with all of my friends that I met when I landed in Italy and we happened to be on the same tour as each other. We explored all over Rome that first day for hours and that was my first day in Rome and I had a group of new friends and we went all over the city and I saw the most incredible things for the first time and they were there with me and we experienced it together and it was really, really special. And the same goes with so many of the destinations I've been to and I just think so fondly of those people and, like I mentioned, that group of people that I met, they were on a tour with me.
Speaker 1:Tours are an excellent way to meet new people when you're solo traveling. I think it is a great way, safety-wise, but also for social reasons. It's an excellent way to meet new people and you're already sharing a common interest. You are taking a tour of this location and it doesn't have to be a full vacation tour. You don't have to go on a guided tour your whole trip. But I have and they're amazing. So I do recommend the guided tours for a full trip and I recommend that you join one of the last three spots for the first ever One Girl Travel group trip to Italy, because how fun is that I'm so excited.
Speaker 1:I personally know almost all of the ladies that are attending this trip and they're amazing, and I can't wait to get to know the rest of the women. We are gonna have the most fun time and there's only three spots left. If you are thinking about joining, don't hesitate on this. Do it now. I don't know if I'll ever do Italy again. This is my second time going to Italy. I don't know what the next trip's gonna be. I have some favorite places I would love to take you all to, but don't sleep on this. If this is on your heart to join, I would love for you to be there and I would love to get to know you better and experience Italy and become travel friends and do all the fun things that we're gonna do together. But anyways, let's go back. So group trip is an excellent way to meet new people.
Speaker 1:Again, one girl travel solo trip and you can also do not just full trip length tours. You can do day tours. Day tours are an excellent way to meet new people. You can do hour-long tours. You can do food tours, you can do mural tours. I'm trying to think of all the tours I've done. I've done so many tours and it's so fun because you're already in community with people who are at least have the same interest as you, because they're participating in the same tour. So you have that going for you. Join the tour, start talking to people, ask them how are you enjoying your trip? What is the favorite part of your trip so far? Where are you from? What else do you have planned on your trip? Just chat with them. Be open to it. If they don't reciprocate your friendship, it's their loss and not yours. You know that you're awesome. I know that you're awesome. It's all right. At least put yourself out there. And also I'll wrap it up soon Be mindful of your body language when you're meeting new people.
Speaker 1:Let's say that you are sitting at a bar and you really want to meet somebody. Not, you know, to hook up or anything. Maybe you do. That's fine too, do you? But you just want to chat with somebody. Let's say You're sitting at a bar. If you are sitting on a bar stool at a bar and your legs are crossed, your arms are crossed, your phone is in your hand and you have air pods in, you are not going to be talked to. Nobody's going to be approaching you because you look completely closed off to everybody. You do not look like you want to be approached by anybody and I highly doubt that anybody will approach you.
Speaker 1:If you want to have a conversation with somebody, be mindful of your body language. Uncross your arms, uncross your legs. Check your face. I know I personally put on a resting bitch face when I'm uncomfortable. Take it off. Be yourself. Smile if that is comfortable for you. Smiling is always a great gesture to show somebody that you are friendly and you're open to chatting. Don't have headphones in because that's just a you know, that's kind of a sign that you don't want to be talked to and be open to starting a conversation. Don't be scared to just chat with somebody next to you and at the very least the bartender is there. Talk to them. They're there for you. Ask them what their favorite things to do in the city are, what are some non-touristy things that you should check out, and then somebody might overhear that conversation, they might join in. Just be open to it.
Speaker 1:Solo travel is a great time to just experiment. Experiment with who you want to become, focus on who your future self is and just become your future self in that moment. Be brave, take chances. That's what it's all about. Why are you solo traveling? Most likely for you to experience new things. Hopefully, you want to grow as a person. This is your opportunity.
Speaker 1:Solo travel equals growth because it's uncomfortable. When you do uncomfortable things, you grow because you're trying new things. You're trying it out to see if it works for you and what happens if it doesn't work for you. You learned something. You didn't fail. You learned, you grew. Now you know what you don't want to do and then you might tweak it to something that you do want to do.
Speaker 1:It's all about experimenting, trying new things, and it's fun. Have the mindset that uncomfortableness is fun. I love feeling uncomfortable. Now I crave it. I can't wait for my next solo trip because I know I'm going to grow. I know I'm going to come back a better version of myself, because I'm going to experience something I probably never experienced before. And even if I do the same things over and over again, I'm going to do them in different ways so I can experience something different.
Speaker 1:And my hope for you, the listener, is that you stop waiting and you start embracing the discomfort and, even though you might be a little scared regarding your safety, even though you might be a little nervous when it comes to meeting new people or if you're worried about feeling lonely all valid things to be concerned with but you'll get over it, you'll conquer it. You're going to grow, you're going to get more comfortable with it, it's going to start feeling so fun and you're going to enjoy it. You're going to do it more and you're going to do it more and you are going to have it become second nature to you. And you're going to hype up your friends who might want to solo travel after they see your adventures and you're going to tell them the same thing Just your beginner, your learning. You're going to grow, sit in the discomfort and keep going. And that's what I'm going to tell you as much as I can, because I really want it to just be ingrained in your brain. I want you to remember this and I want you to be excited about the thought of solo travel, not fear it.
Speaker 1:All right, my friends, this is probably one of the longest podcast episodes I've done. I know I am probably overcompensating for my lackluster performance last week, but I want to make it up to you. I love you guys so much and I really appreciate you listening to me. We're almost on a year and that is so exciting, especially for the fact that I started this podcast on a whim. I didn't overthink it, I just did it. I knew it was something I wanted to do and I just took action on it. And I hope you do the same with your dreams. Don't overthink it, just do it and see what happens. Figure it out as you go. You might forget a step along the way, you might mess up, you might not think it's good enough, but it's right In that moment. It's right where it needs to be, because you're going to learn from it and you're going to alter your course to get it right the next time and you're going to grow and you're going to have more knowledge and you're going to do amazing things. And I love you and thank you for being here. Thank you for being a part of the One Girl Travel Community. Thank you for your kind reviews and comments of the podcast. I appreciate it so much.
Speaker 1:If you have a topic that you want me to cover on the podcast, I would love to hear from you, especially since we're nearing on a year. I want to get some fresh takes. I want to get some, you know, fresh questions that I can answer for all of you. I want to make sure that I am doing everything I can to motivate you to go after your dreams and take action on your life, without waiting on anybody else to do it with you. You got this Until next time. I love you.
Speaker 2:Bye.